Wednesday, June 24, 2015

tired of all this $h!t

Kena marah.
Dimalukan di khalayak ramai.

Dibodoh dan dikepalahotakkan
Dipukul kadang-kadang
Disindir sinis

Kena siapkan banyak order serentak in limited time
Like we have thousand hands
Living in fear everytime patients' vital signs are not stable

Living far from family
No one to talk or tell my problem to here
Yesterday I dont buka puasa until 8 pm.
My meal and sleeping time is berterabur
Not enough sleep
No time to read books for the assessment

Want to meet psy for a long leave so that i can calm myself down
But its not a wise decision as long as people will talk behind your back and you will be known as crazy person.

Want to quit but no back up plan
Want to proceed being a doctor but no strength left
Want to die but suicide is a big sin and I will be sent to hell directly
Dont know what to do
Dont know what should i do

Once i returned home at 2 am and have to go to work back at 6.
I'm tired
Tired of all this shit
I dont mind the big salary
I just want a better life
If i know life will be like this, I wont study so hard at school so that I wont be qualified to take medicine

If i know life will be like this,
I will never think of medicine as my career.
Tired of all this shit
Sorry for the inappropriate word.


Ai Lee said...

I now you're sad tired angry piss off fed up so I won't tell you to have a good day. instead, i advise you to simply have a day (tho i think impossible for ur current situation). stay alive, feed yourself, wear comfortable clothes, and dont give up on yourself just yet. it'll get better, until then have a day.

Ai Lee said...

lupa pulak.

- credit to tumblr. i hope this is not kata kata semangat yg cliche